The Rule of Thirds: Why Not Everyone Is Supposed to Like You

You post something you're proud of. It's honest, it's bold, and it took you three drafts and a deep breath to hit publish.

Within an hour, you've got a few enthusiastic comments, a handful of likes, and one unfollow. Just one.

And guess what you're thinking about? Not the people who loved it. Not the crickets from everybody else. That single unfollow.

What did I say wrong? Was I too much? Should I delete it?

If you've ever let one "no" outweigh a dozen "yes" moments, I have good news for you. There's a rule that explains exactly what's happening, and once you understand it, it will set you free.

It's called the rule of thirds.

The Rule of Thirds

Here's how it works. Picture everyone who will ever come across you, your voice, your business, your message. They fall into three groups.

The first third loves you. These are your people. Your tribe. They get you immediately. They laugh at your jokes, nod along with your message, and feel like you're speaking directly to them. They buy from you, refer you, and cheer you on. When you show up as yourself, they lean in.

The second third doesn't even notice you. They're not for you or against you. They simply aren't paying attention. They're busy, distracted, or at a different point in their journey. They scroll right past without a flicker of reaction. It's not personal. You just aren't on their radar.

The final third just won't like you. They might not like your voice, your vibe, your style, or your message. It doesn't matter why. You're simply not their cup of tea.

That's it. One third, one third, one third.

And here's the part I want you to really hear: that ratio isn't a sign that something is wrong with you. It's just how people work.

The Wagyu Steak Principle

Let me put this in a way that will stick.

Imagine you're the juiciest, most spectacular piece of Wagyu steak on the menu. Beautifully marbled. Perfectly seared. Gorgeous presentation. The kind of steak people tell their friends about for years.

Will everyone who walks into that restaurant order you?

Of course not. Some people are vegetarian. Some are vegan. Some are on a diet. Some just don't like beef. They could be looking right at the best steak in the world, and they'll still order the salad.

Does that mean the steak is bad? Does the steak need to change its flavor, soften its texture, or apologize for being beef?

Of course not. The steak is exactly what it is. And the people who love steak will find it, order it, and be thrilled.

Your message is the steak. Your personality is the steak. Your business, your voice, your style, your opinions: that's the steak. And some people simply don't eat steak. It's okay.

The goal is never to be everybody's favorite dish. The goal is to be an unforgettable experience for the people who are hungry for exactly what you serve.

What Happens When You Try to Please Everyone

Here's what most people do instead. They notice the third who isn't responding, and they try to win them over.

They soften their message so nobody feels uncomfortable. They tone down their personality so nobody finds them too loud. They water down their opinions so nobody disagrees. They hedge, qualify, and apologize in their marketing.

And what happens? They end up with a message so bland that nobody gets excited. They become the plain oatmeal of their industry. The people who would have loved them can't feel them, because the edges that made them magnetic were sanded off.

Here's the tragic math: when you try to appeal to everyone, you lose your first third. The people who would have been your biggest fans never feel the pull, because you've watered yourself down to appeal to people who were never going to be your clients anyway.

Meanwhile, the third who dislikes you isn't going to change their mind because you added three more disclaimers. They're simply not your people.

The Middle Third Isn't Rejection

Let's give the middle third some attention, because it often causes the most confusion.

When you put yourself out there and hear nothing, it's easy to interpret the silence as rejection. Nobody cares. Nobody's listening. Why am I even doing this?

But silence isn't a "no." It's usually just "not now" or "not noticing." The people in your middle third are living their own lives. They're scrolling through a hundred things a minute. They may not need what you offer yet. They may not be ready. They may see you ten times before something clicks.

Some of those people will eventually move into your first third. They'll watch you for months, then reach out one day with, "I've been following you for a while." You'll never know who's watching until they decide to speak.

So don't read crickets as failure. Keep showing up. Visibility isn't about getting everyone's attention. It's about being consistently present for the people who are about to notice.

Where This Comes From

So why does that one unfollow, that one eye-roll, or that one negative comment hit so hard?

Because somewhere along the way, you learned that being liked meant being safe.

This is at the heart of The Freedom Code™: people are limited by unconscious stories, and those stories were written in childhood. Maybe you grew up in a home where approval was the currency of love. Maybe you were the "good kid" who learned that pleasing people kept the peace. Maybe you were teased for being different and decided that standing out was dangerous.

Your younger self made a smart decision for survival: I must make everyone like me. And now, decades later, that same instruction is running your business. It's why you hesitate to post. It's why you avoid taking a stand. It's why one critical comment can wreck your afternoon.

But here's the update: you're not a child who needs everyone's approval to survive. You're an adult with a business, a message, and a purpose. And your job isn't to be universally liked. Your job is to be useful to the people you were meant to serve.

The Thirds in Real Life

Let's watch the rule play out in a normal week of business. You send an email announcing a new offer to a list of three hundred people.

A hundred of them open it, nod, and think, Finally. Exactly what I needed. Some reply within minutes. A few buy by the end of the day. Others save it for later, because they trust you and they're listening. That's your first third.

A hundred of them never open it. They're traveling, buried in work, or they signed up two years ago and forgot why. They aren't rejecting you. They just aren't paying attention. That's your middle third.

And a hundred of them open it and feel a little prickle. Maybe your tone is too direct for them, or your price is outside their world, or your message simply doesn't land. A couple hit unsubscribe. That's your final third.

Now here's the big question: which group do you obsess over?

If you're like most of us, you stare at the unsubscribes. You rewrite the next email to be gentler, more cautious, more "safe." You accidentally train yourself to serve the people who were never going to buy.

The healthier move is to look at the first third and ask, What made them lean in? How do I give them more of that? That's where your growth lives.

And remember this: a message strong enough to attract a tribe will almost always repel someone. Mild messages don't repel anyone, and they don't attract anyone either. A few unsubscribes can be a sign that your message has a pulse.

How to Use the Rule of Thirds

Let's turn this into something you can actually use.

1. Expect the thirds. Before you post, launch, pitch, or speak, remind yourself: a third will love this, a third won't notice, and a third won't like it. That's not a risk. That's the plan. When you expect it, it stops stinging.

2. Stop auditing the "no" third. You don't need to analyze every unfollow, read every negative comment, or convince every skeptic. Let them go. Bless them and keep moving.

3. Get clearer, not blander. The more specific and honest your message, the faster your first third finds you. Say the thing you actually believe. Use the words you actually use. Let your personality show.

4. Be patient with the middle. Keep showing up consistently. Treat silence as a runway, not a verdict.

5. Serve your first third like crazy. Your tribe is the one that buys, refers, and cheers. Give them your best energy, your best content, and your best service. Don't waste it on people who are never going to be a fit.

6. Filter feedback with a scientist's mind. Not every criticism is "not your cup of tea." Sometimes feedback is valuable. Ask yourself: Is this a pattern? Is it coming from someone in my ideal audience? Is there truth here I can use? If yes, learn. If it's simply a mismatch, let it go.

The Silence Check

Here's a question I want you to ask yourself:

Where are you being silent when you should be speaking?

Is there something you believe but haven't said because it might turn off a few people? Is there a bold take, a real story, or a clear stance that you've been softening to stay safe?

That's where your tribe is waiting. The things you're afraid will repel one third are often the very things that will attract another.

What Letting Others Scroll By Looks Like

Let me tell you what this feels like when you really live it.

You publish something real. Some people love it. Some people say nothing. A few people roll their eyes. And you feel a calm, steady certainty: That's exactly how it's supposed to go.

You stop trying to chase the people who aren't interested. You stop shrinking to fit into someone else's idea of who you should be. You stop refreshing your notifications to check who left.

Instead, you spend your energy on the people leaning in. You pour into your clients, your community, and your craft. You feel lighter, freer, and more confident. And ironically, your business grows faster, because you're no longer wasting energy on people who were never going to buy.

When someone isn't a fit, you simply let them scroll by. No drama. No resentment. Just a quiet, "Not for you, and that's fine."

Be the Steak

So here's your invitation. Stop auditioning for approval. Stop trying to be everyone's favorite. Stop tinkering with your message until it offends no one and excites no one.

Be who you are, fully, loudly, and unapologetically. Trust that the third who is meant to respond will find you. And let the rest scroll by.

The world doesn't need another bland, agreeable, forgettable voice. It needs yours, exactly as it is.

Be the Wagyu. Somebody out there is starving for it.

Ready to Find Your People?

If you're an entrepreneur or small business owner who's ready to stop shrinking and start showing up as yourself, the Profit Block quiz can help you uncover what's standing between you and the profit, visibility, and time freedom you want. It takes just a few minutes.

Take the Profit Block quiz here: https://produceamazingresults.com/entrepreneurs

Your tribe is out there. Let's help them find you.

Beth Gilmore is the founder of results. coaching, helping entrepreneurs and small business owners grow their visibility, profits, and time freedom through The Freedom Code™.