Drama is all around us. You can’t completely avoid it, but you can keep from getting sucked in to its black hole. We all have opportunities for drama. While some of us love diving head-first into its depths, others of us desire to handle it succintly, putting it aside to solve the underlying problem. Yet, how do we avoid getting derailed by drama when we live in a world that feeds on public fights, disagreements and make-wrongs?
Personal drama is like “The National Enquirer” in your office; no one wants to admit to reading it, but we all sneak a tittilated peek now and then. Drama, often disguised as complaining, is like the office water-cooler drug… when it shows up, you just can’t quite step away… you just gotta hear a little more.
Drama is a possibility-suck. It is used to undermine and invalidate others. It kills positive efforts around you and pulls everyone down with the sinking ship. When you don’t take it lighty and give it no room to breathe you will be amazed at the peace that is available in your work and home environments.
The first step to avoid getting derailed by drama is to create a “No Drama Zone.” Create your office or home as such a zone and tell everyone you see that you have done so. Let people know that you would love to be a listening ear, but you have neither room, nor time, for drama. Problems in your space get solved, not ruminated on. Eventually people that are committed to being dramatic will avoid you.
Step two, don’t be dramatic yourself. When something goes wrong, deal with what actually happened, not with all that you are making it mean about you and others. Deal with the issue by removing the emotion. Don’t complain.
Step three, create personal boundaries with specific people in your life that tend to dwell in the drama; call them on their crap. Don’t allow your friend to go through the story about their quarrel with their husband and what a jerk he is more than one time. Simply ask “You know, I’ve heard this story before… would you like some support in solving this issue?” Your friend/co-worker will either ask for assistance or run in the opposite direction… either one works to quell the drama.
Step four, request that people call you on your crap. Ask people to help you interrupt your own drama if you compain about something habitually. They can ask you the same question from step 3.
Finally, surround yourself with people that are committed to growth. Value yourself and your time by eliminating people that are more committed to complaining about life than they are living it. When conversations arise that turn into complaining, politely walk away.
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