D25 - Are You Full of Crap? -

Are you full of crap? I am. I am really struggling to stick to my calorie budget and track every day. I am now clear that the source of it is my unwillingness to be TOTALLY, 100% RADICALLY RESPONSIBLE for my commitment to meeting my health goals.

There is a component of my compulsive overeating that is completely similar to addiction habits. There is a moment of choosing, and I don’t make the choice that’s going to get me to my goals. Now, don’t get me wrong, I AM losing weight—1-2 pounds most weeks, however, there are many times where I am just not choosing well. I don’t want to call it “addiction” because, for me, that is not empowering. It alludes to a feeling that I AM NOT THE ONE IN CONTROL, and trust me, I am. No one pins me down and puts food in my mouth… I volunteer for that job whole heartedly. However, in order to break this cycle, I am going to have to continue to do the work. A speaker in a training course I recently took said that in order to be successful at ANYTHING, you have to do the work: chop wood and carry water… and you need to keep doing it until you get to where you want to go. This reminds me of another quote:

You don’t fail until you quit.

In other words, you have to fall in love with the process of becoming the future you and all of the work it take you to get there. For me, this is all part of the work of my becoming someone new. I need to continue to uncover where I’m making excuses and sabotaging myself so that I can make different choices in the moment. #ChopWoodCarryWater